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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28052385">We're All Alone, There's No One Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassenachSwiftie/pseuds/SassenachSwiftie'>SassenachSwiftie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Outlander &amp; Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Fic within a Fic, Metafiction, Mistletoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:07:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,898</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28052385</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassenachSwiftie/pseuds/SassenachSwiftie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If you've been reading @RegalJacki 's "Snow Is Falling" and paying attention to my ridiculous comments, you know I've been plotting to sneak mistletoe into Claire's apartment behind Jacki's back. Well, I finally did it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Claire Beauchamp &amp; Jamie Fraser, Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We're All Alone, There's No One Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/regaljacki/gifts">regaljacki</a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27812512">Snow is Falling</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/regaljacki/pseuds/regaljacki">regaljacki</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is entirely inspired by Jacki's fic, "Snow is Falling" and if you haven't read it you need to immediately before you go any further.</p>
<p>This is also a joke. Jacki's fic is amazing and I wouldn't actually want to take it over or end the stoy here or anything like that. I just couldn't sleep the other night and got this idea and have been avoiding writing lesson plans by writing this. All credit goes to Jacki for creating this amazingly clueless version of Jamie and Claire and destroying our hearts with a Christmasy slow burn. If you come at Jacki in the comments or shit on her story you will be promptly eaten by the monster that lives in my closet. </p>
<p>I hope you enjoy my silly little story.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
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<p>I had a plan, it needed to be done. The slow burn Jacki was crafting was not only killing her, but many other readers as well--it was time for me to save the day. Did I know that Jacki had a plan and it would all work out? Yes. Did I care? No. I was getting impatient. This wasn’t like a Hallmark movie where they finally kissed in the last 5 minutes on Christmas Eve. This was taking <em> days. </em> Back to my plan: I would simply creep into the story while Claire and Jamie were at the party, sneak some mistletoe into Claire’s apartment, and let things happen naturally from there. I even had the perfect outfit picked out for my first foray into breaking and entering--my black trench coat, my black velvet lace up boots, a black beret, and of course my black leather gloves, to keep the cold at bay and prevent any fingerprints. Sunday morning, I packed a bag full of mistletoe and Command hooks, grabbed a step ladder and drove to Claire’s apartment complex. I waited in the car until I saw the couple had left--they both looked even more gorgeous than I’d imagined dressed up for the party. Claire had a great pair of sky high heels on but was still dwarfed in comparison to Jamie. He placed his hand on the small of her back as they walked to the car, and opened her door like a true gentleman. I really couldn’t believe these two weren’t a couple already. They’re attraction was palpable, even through the slightly fogged up windows of my Chevy. <em> That was about to change </em>.</p>
<p>I waited a few minutes after their car was out of sight and casually walked to Claire’s apartment--it was easy to tell which one it was by the decorations on the balcony. First things first, I unfolded my step ladder and used a command hook to hang a sprig of mistletoe above the door. At least there would be the opportunity for them to kiss if anything went south with my plan. Now to find the key. Jacki wouldn’t tell me where Claire’s spare key was, so I had to search for it myself. I checked under the mat, it wasn’t there--I didn’t think Claire was one to put it in the most obvious place, but I had to check. I ran my gloved hand above the door frame, but only dust covered my fingertips--no key there either. There didn’t seem to be any decorative stones or anything nearby to hide a key under. I guess Jacki was right, Claire’s spare key was lost. <em> Well, I guess I’ll have to break in the old fashioned way </em>, I thought to myself. I took off my hat and stuffed it into my pocket, extracting a bobby pin from my hair. It was difficult to maneuver with gloves on, but after what seemed like an hour, I managed to pick the lock. I slipped into the apartment, locking the door behind me and got right to work. I didn’t have much time left. Luckily, thanks to time zones, Jacki was living in the future and had already let us know the outcome of the party--Jamie and Claire would be leaving early, so I had to act fast. </p>
<p>Up and down the step-ladder I went, placing mistletoe everywhere I knew Jamie and Claire would, and could possibly congregate. I started with the ceiling above the couch, removing my shoes, to climb onto the couch and quickly putting them back on in case I needed to make a quick exit. Next, over the coffee maker in Claire’s kitchen. They often ended up there in the mornings, fueled by their need for caffeine. After that, I put my sprigs of mistletoe anywhere else I thought they may end up and hung it from all the doorframes. I had one more idea. I knew I was running out of time, but I just <em> had to </em> . I hadn’t made it this far in my quest to stop now. I snuck into their respective bedrooms to put mistletoe above their beds. I wanted to peek and see what was in their little bags, but I knew I was already pressed for time and I had to focus on my mission. As I was finishing up in Claire’s room, I heard footsteps in the parking lot out the window. <em> Crap. </em>They were home and by the fast pace of their feet I could tell Jamie was still in a mood. I put my shoes on, grabbed my now empty bag and step ladder and ran out into the living room. I couldn’t risk sneaking back out the way I came, I stepped out onto the snow covered balcony. I would leave footprints, but my work here was done--by the time they found them the next morning, I would be long gone. Now how to get down? I realized I’d have to abandon my step ladder, I propped it up against the outside of the building so it couldn’t be seen from inside, and balanced myself precariously over the side of the balcony. I was quite a good tree climber as a child, and luckily those skills came in handy as I maneuvered my way down to the lower balcony, and into the parking lot. I ran to my car, heart pounding in my chest, adrenaline surging through my veins as I sped out of the parking lot and back home to write my lesson plans that I’d been avoiding all weekend.</p>
<p>----------</p>
<p>“What’s this?” Jamie questioned, looking up as Claire extracted her keys from her sparkly evening bag. Claire followed his eyes to the ceiling, where a small clump of greenery was dangling above their heads.</p>
<p>Claire’s breath caught, realizing what it must be. <em> Did Jamie put it there? </em> “Is that…what I think it is?”</p>
<p>“Aye, Sassenach, I believe it is.” Passion was still surging through Jamie’s veins after seeing Claire with another man at the party. He wanted nothing more than to take this as a sign from the universe, draw her to him and kiss her thoroughly. However, even in his state of jealousy and desire, he knew better than to kiss her without consent. <em> Did she put it there? </em> Did she want him to kiss her? </p>
<p>They stared awkwardly at each other, both afraid to make a move, both wanting to.</p>
<p>“How’d it get there?” She glanced up and down the hallway of her apartment building, none of the other doors seemed to have mistletoe above them.</p>
<p>“I dinna ken Sassanach, buuuut…” he drew out the last word hoping she’d finish the thought, either in word or hopefully in action.</p>
<p>“We’re supposed to…” Claire couldn’t finish her sentences either--it was really difficult for either of them to think, each being in possession of only half a brain cell. </p>
<p>“Mmhmm” Jamie replied, licking his lips, waiting for her to meet them. </p>
<p><em> Smack. </em> Claire stood on her tip-toes and planted a kiss on Jamie’s right cheek (the one on his <em> face </em> ! Obviously! Jeez. You Outlander fans are a thirsty bunch). She quickly turned from him to unlock the door of the apartment. She couldn’t risk kissing him and ruining their friendship; besides he clearly was in a fragile state after what had happened at the party. He refused to talk about it on the car ride home. Had Laoghaire hurt him? <em> I’ll kill a bitch. </em> They slipped inside the darkened apartment, lit only by the light of the Christmas tree. </p>
<p>“Well, I’ll let you get to bed. I know you said you’re tired. You know where to find me if you need to talk.”</p>
<p>“Aye. Goodnight then.” He said abruptly, moving to Claire’s guestroom and shutting the door behind him a bit louder than necessary. He felt like an idiot for thinking she’d give him a kiss, especially so soon after seeing him with that guy. She looked interested in him, and she probably was. He had already resigned himself to settling for Leoghaire, but she was so annoying, could he really live with that for the rest of his life? Either way, he had to let the idea of Claire being his go. His mind drifted back the mistletoe… that was the most confusing part of all of this. Surely, Claire must have put it there. Who else would have? I guess it could have been a prank, but who would do that? If it was Claire, however, why didn’t she kiss him? He tossed and turned with these questions in his mind, well into the night, eventually falling asleep with more questions and no answers.</p>
<p>Claire also had questions. She was starting to become convinced that Jamie had put the mistletoe there, but those words he said at the party kept ringing in her ear, <em> Dinna touch me, Claire. </em> Everytime she replayed those words she felt a stinging sensation in her chest. Maybe it was a prank--she couldn’t think of who would prank her, she didn’t have many friends, but maybe her apartment was a random target of the kids who lived in her apartment complex. If Jamie had wanted to kiss her, he wouldn’t have spent the week texting Laoghaire, he wouldn’t have latched onto her at the Christmas party that night. Claire also fell asleep with more questions than answers, the mysterious mistletoe at the forefront of her mind.</p>
<p>----------</p>
<p>Jamie awoke with the light of day, despite the fact that he had slept so restlessly the night before. He blinked the sleep from his eyes and stared at the ceiling, but something was there. Another sprig of mistletoe hung above his head. Well that certainly couldn’t be a prank, Claire must have put it there. Right? Above his bed though? He knew his dearest friend was a bold lass, but this seemed to be taking things quite fast, and he didn’t think she’d be comfortable with that. Christ, she couldn’t even kiss him properly last night, but she put mistletoe above his bed? He couldn’t make sense of any of it.</p>
<p>“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!” his thoughts were interrupted by a shriek from across the hallway. He leaped out of bed and into Claire’s bedroom--still in his boxer briefs and without knocking--to make sure she was all right. He found Claire still in bed, wide eyed, staring at the ceiling. “Jamie! Did you put that there?” she demanded.</p>
<p>“No, Claire! What kind of man do you take me for? Besides, it’s above <em> my </em>bed too!”</p>
<p>“Oh my god! Really? What the hell? Who was in my apartment?” Claire’s voice was becoming frantic.</p>
<p>“James Fraser. Swear to me you did not put that there.”</p>
<p>“I, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser, swear on the cross of my Lord Jesus, I did not put that there.” Claire believed him, and despite her concerns, she couldn’t help taking in the sight of him, standing there nearly naked, speaking like the highland warrior he had no doubt descended from--<em> Damn. </em>Maybe mistletoe above the bed wasn’t such a bad thing.</p>
<p>“Well then who the bloody hell did?” Claire shouted. Even with only half a brain cell, Jamie could tell she was genuinely scared, and he didn’t blame her. The situation was puzzling at best, a case of breaking and entering at worst. </p>
<p>“I’ll go take a look around, Sassenach, dinna fash. As long as I’m with ye, you’ll always be safe.” Who would break in just to put mistletoe on the ceiling? What a bizarre occurrence. He looked around the apartment, wondering if the intruder stole anything. Claire’s MacBook was still there, the television was intact. There didn’t seem to be any presents missing from under the tree. With a sudden realization, he rushed back to the bedroom and rifled through his suitcase--a sigh of relief escaped his mouth as he realized his little bag was still there, safe and sound. While in his room, he pulled on some pajama bottoms, hoping Claire hadn’t noticed too much in his state of undress--or maybe he did hope, he worked out, after all. After that, he checked all the closets, nothing seemed to be out of order at all. The apartment appeared to be untouched, save for the sudden appearance of mistletoe, which he was now noticing was placed in several key areas throughout the apartment… in all of the door frames, above the coffee maker--<em> clever, </em>above the kitchen table, and of course, above the couch. It would be really difficult to avoid being caught under the mistletoe with Claire again, not that it would be something he would mind. </p>
<p>While Jamie was searching the apartment, Claire had gotten up and was also checking things. <em> Her </em> tiny bag was also secure in her closet. She emerged from her bedroom, still shaken that someone <em> or something </em> had been in her apartment while they were out.</p>
<p>“I think I found our culprit’s escape route!” Jamie called from the living room. He was standing near the sliding door to the balcony, opening and closing it to show it had been left unlocked.</p>
<p>“I always lock it! Besides, who would climb to an upstairs balcony?”</p>
<p>“I dinna ken Sassenach, but nothing seems to be missing. Did you find everything accounted for?”</p>
<p>“I did, nothing seems to be touched in my room, save the ceiling above my bed.”</p>
<p>“Hmm… if it wasn’t for the footprints in the snow on yer balcony, I’d say it was faeries.”</p>
<p>“Faeries?” she smirked, amused. </p>
<p>“Or wee Christmas elves… they might leave footprints.”</p>
<p>“Should we… should I call the police?”</p>
<p>“If ye feel ye must, but I meant what I said. Ye have the protection of my body, should ye need it.”</p>
<p>Claire’s head was spinning, the mistletoe, Jamie being protective, the mention of his body--which she had seen, almost in its entirety, less than an hour before. “I need to think.” She sat on the couch, trying to figure out what it all meant. She hadn’t yet noticed how much mistletoe was in her apartment, nor the one above her head, but Jamie knew it was there, and was debating his next move. He decided to sit next to her--he needed to comfort her, he needed her to feel how much he would protect her, how he would do anything for her. She wasn’t just his best friend, she was his everything. He went to the couch and wrapped his arms around her.</p>
<p>“Here, Sassenach, you can borrow my half a brain cell, it will help you think.”</p>
<p>“Thank you Jamie, are you sure?”</p>
<p>“Aye, take as much time with it as you need.”</p>
<p>With the power of a whole brain cell, Claire realized all the puzzle pieces were fitting together. Jamie’s jealousy, the way he held her close, his promises of protection, using Laoghaire to make her jealous--everything Jamie had been doing meant he<em> must </em> feel the same way she did. I mean, what kind of best friends snuggled as much as they did? Her heart leaped in her chest as she realized everything. </p>
<p>Jamie, on the other hand, being without their shared brain cell, was focused only on his desperate desire to kiss Claire. He stared, with big himbo energy, at the mistletoe above their heads--he knew if he looked at her he would do something dumb, so he just stared up, waiting for her to notice.</p>
<p>“Jamie,” Claire gasped, now knowing what she did. She adjusted herself on the couch to turn towards him. He was staring at the ceiling, and she looked up. <em> More mistletoe. </em></p>
<p>They had both been  surprised by the sudden appearance of mistletoe. Neither of them had put it there, in fact, even Jacki hadn’t put it there. It was as if a mysterious reader had snuck in in the middle of the night, anxious for them to make out. There it was, and they were sitting under it.</p>
<p>“Jamie, I think. I think somebody wants us to kiss. I don’t know who put the mistletoe here, but, I think <em> somebody </em> is trying to tell us something.”</p>
<p>“Aye.” he met her gaze, the most beautiful whiskey colored eyes he had ever seen.His throat grew tight and words were difficult for him to form without any brain cells, but he knew he needed to ask permission and used ever ounce of effort he had to say “I would very much like to kiss you, may I?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Claire whispered, breathless.</p>
<p>Finally, their lips met under the mistletoe. The passion of their kiss shook the brain cell back to Jamie, and then back to Claire. Back and forth as their tongues danced and they explored each other’s mouths for the first time. It was long overdue and they both knew they had to make up for lost time. They made out for hours, under every spring of mistletoe in the apartment. They made out until Christmas Eve, when they finally came up for air to give each other their tiny bags. They lived happily ever after and my plan worked. </p>
<p>For the next eleven days, Jacki had nothing to write except descriptions of them kissing under the mistletoe, the readers weren’t disappointed but it got old after a while, and I learned my lesson about messing with other people’s stories.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Or did I?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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